And neither are our Horses!
Like us, domesticated horses no longer live the way they were designed for by evolution for hundreds of thousands – even millions of years. This disconnect leads to anxiety, overwhelm, loneliness, or repressed anger. For both of us, humans and horses.
But how can ‘learning about wild horses’ help us? Ok – let me explain:
The Lost Balance
For over two million years, humans lived in tribes of 20–50 people. These small, close-knit groups shared responsibilities, offered protection, and fostered deep relationships. Tribes were often part of larger networks – loosely connected groups of up to 150 individuals who worked together when needed. These larger communities ensured safety, resource sharing, and cultural exchange.
Horses evolved similarly. Wild horse herds can have up to 40 members, and these herds are also connected with other herds within a larger community – the herd association, which consists of up to 200 horses. Like human tribes, herds provide horses with a safe space where they belong – a place of harmony, cooperation, and natural leadership. The herd associations collaborate for shared resources and protection from predators.
This natural balance is something both humans and horses thrive on. Yet, modern life has disrupted this natural way of living – with profound consequences.
How Modern Life Has Changed Us
Humans now live in isolated houses or small apartments, often disconnected from extended families or communities. Similarly, many domesticated horses spend their lives confined to stalls or small paddocks, unable to interact freely with others.
This lifestyle isn’t just different – it’s unnatural. For humans, it can lead to feelings of anxiety, loneliness, and even suppressed anger. For horses, the effects are just as severe, manifesting as stress, behavioral problems, or a lack of emotional security.
Worse, this imbalance doesn’t just stay within us – it spills over into our relationships. Horses are highly sensitive to the emotions and energy of the people around them. When we carry stress, insecurity, or a need for control, it often affects how we interact with our horses. The result? Miscommunication, frustration, and even conflict.
Lessons from Wild Horses
Wild horses offer a powerful example of living in balance and connection. Their natural way of life teaches us profound lessons about ourselves, our horses, and how to create harmony in our relationships.
1. Community Is Everything
In a wild herd, every horse has a role. The stallion often takes responsibility for safety and assessment. Certain mares with experience may initiate movement or location changes, but decisions are shared, not commanded. Young horses play and learn from the older ones. Each member contributes to the group, and the herd thrives on collaboration, not a rigid ranking. Humans evolved in the same way. We’re wired for small, cooperative communities where everyone has a role. When we embrace this in our lives – and provide it for our horses—we create a sense of belonging and security.
2. Leadership Through Trust
Wild herds don’t follow one permanent leader. Decisions form through trust, experience, and calm presence. A stallion may take protective responsibility, a seasoned mare might start movement, and others join when it feels safe and meaningful. True influence in a herd comes from safety, clarity, and emotional steadiness, not dominance. For us, this means leadership isn’t something we take – it’s something horses respond to voluntarily when our decisions feel good to follow. Not because we’re above them, but because we’re a calm partner they can lean on. So, leadership in horses is less about who leads, and more about who offers the decision that makes sense.
3. Living in Rhythm
Wild horses follow the natural rhythms of their environment. They graze, move, and rest in harmony with the seasons and their surroundings. There’s no rushing, no forcing – only adaptation and flow. In contrast, modern life often pulls us out of sync with natural rhythms. Learning from wild horses can help us reconnect with these cycles, creating healthier routines for ourselves and our horses.
4. The Power of Connection
Horses are deeply social animals. In the wild, they groom each other, play together, and communicate constantly through subtle body language. This connection keeps the herd strong and balanced. For us, it’s a reminder that relationships – whether with people or horses – are built on consistent, meaningful interaction. Taking the time to connect deeply creates trust and strengthens bonds.
How We Can Rewild Ourselves and Our Horses
So, how can we bring these lessons into our daily lives?
- Build a Herd for Yourself and Your Horse: Surround yourself with supportive, like-minded people. For your horse, create opportunities for them to interact naturally with others. Turnout with compatible companions or even short, supervised interactions can make a huge difference.
- Lead with Clarity and Trust: Practice being a calm and consistent presence for your horse. Leadership isn’t about controlling them – it’s about creating an environment where they feel safe and can trust your guidance.
- Reclaim Natural Rhythms: Pay attention to how you spend your time. Are you rushing from one task to the next? Take cues from your horse – schedule time for rest, movement, and connection.
- Be Present: Spend time simply observing your horse. Watch how they move, communicate, and interact. Learn from their subtle cues and mirror their ability to live fully in the moment.
A New Way Forward
Rewilding our relationship with horses isn’t just about giving them a more natural life – it’s about finding balance in ourselves. When we live with more harmony, presence, and connection, we become better partners for our horses.
Wild horses remind us of what we’ve lost, but they also show us how to find it again. By learning from their way of life, we can create relationships built on trust, respect, and true partnership – not just with our horses, but with the people and world around us.
Are you ready to explore this Journey together?
Inside Being Herd, you’ll find an ongoing library of videos, guides, and deep dives inspired by the way wild herds live and lead. It’s not about another training method – it’s about learning from nature, step by step, in a way that feels right for you and your horse.
✨ Start with my free guide Into the Herd: How to Be Invited Into Your Horse’s Herd – Naturally.
🌿 Or explore Being Herd, my ongoing resource library where we look at communication, character, and connection in ways that make sense to your horse.
Because once you see how wild herds make decisions – through clarity, trust, and calm connection – it changes how you see your horse forever.
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