That the dominance theory is outdated should not come as news to most horse or dog people. However, why is it still the foundation for most training methods in the equestrian world today?
The problem, as I see it, is that pure science rarely changes behavior on its own. People have real experiences with domestic horses that seem to confirm dominance ideas. They see resource conflict, pushing, biting, “boss horses,” and it feels logical to label it “pecking order.” In reality, this behavior arises through confinement, restricted feeding, chronic stress, and a lack of natural herd stability. It has little to do with how wild herds organize themselves.
Accepting that something we believed – and practiced – for years might have been incomplete or even harmful is uncomfortable. It means facing the possibility that we misunderstood our horse and that they carried the cost. Most of us acted with good intentions. We wanted connection, safety, and partnership. That deserves compassion, not shame.
But logic alone still misses a layer most people don’t talk about.
Changing our approach can threaten something deeper: our emotional needs.
Horses give people freedom, belonging, purpose, identity. They make us feel chosen. Seen. Connected. So when we step away from dominance and step toward true choice, we must confront a vulnerable question:
What if my horse says no?
What if they don’t want to leave the herd?
What if they don’t want to be ridden today?
What if connection can’t be forced, only invited?
Not being able to command obedience means we risk feeling rejected. Suddenly the horse becomes a mirror for our insecurity rather than a compliant partner who validates us. That’s where dominance ideas come in – not because they’re true to horse behavior, but because they protect us from discomfort.
If we want real change in the horse world, facts are not enough. People must feel safe while letting go of old frameworks. We need to show them:
💛 You weren’t wrong for not knowing.
💛 You don’t lose connection when you allow choice – you deepen it.
💛 You can meet your own needs without control.
And then offer alternatives they can step into instead of alternatives that simply say stop doing that.
We can help them learn natural horse language.
We can support them in navigating fear and uncertainty.
We can guide them into leadership that horses willingly follow.
Because when we step into leadership the way horses understand it – through clarity, protection, emotional steadiness, and trust – not force – connection becomes something real. Consent becomes possible. Partnership becomes mutual.
And the relationship becomes stronger than dominance ever allowed.
If this sounds worth exploring in more depth to you, I’d love to share more:
📥 [Download my free guide Into the Herd – How to Be Invited Into Your Horse’s Herd, Naturally]
💡 Or explore Being Herd – my ongoing library of videos, guides, and deep dives inspired by wild horses and the quiet leadership they live every day.
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